you have a reason for every move you make. so do I.
I always listen to every thing coming out from your mouth. I am not the kind of girl who’s being hard all the time. but I am not always easy, though. at the time I don’t listen to you, I have my own reason. sometimes I tell you, sometimes I keep it to myself. why? because it hurts. really really hurts. I can’t stand what will be happened if I tell you. maybe me, maybe you, maybe one of us will leave. maybe i would get mad at you. maybe you were the one who get mad at me. maybe we were getting mad at each other.
when i am in not good condition, mad, angry, stress, anything. all I need is to calming down. sometimes I only have to sit and take a deep breath. sometimes I need to take a brisk walk. sometimes I want to driving to nowhere. sometimes I take a shower. sometimes I cry. only if I can’t stand my own emotion.
maybe you are the one that need to be more sensitive. more care. try to understanding my point of view. because world is not seen only by your eyes.
menggenggam angin lebih baik daripada menggenggam pasir.
semakin kuat kita menggenggam pasir, pasir dalam gengggaman justru terlepas.
bagaimana dengan menggenggam angin? angin memang tidak bisa digenggam. tapi kamu tau keberadaannya.
sepertinya itu cukup.
I feel loved just by seeing myself deep down inside your eyes.
so many things running on my mind since last night. keep me awake until dawn. fell asleep for almost three hours and can not go back to sleep again.
i am too afraid to write them down. why? because when i re-read my own writings later, i will get hurt again. i don’t want to feel the pain again. once is enough.
i need pensieve. maybe by drop and leave some things on that, i will feel lighter. and can face the world. and make today a brighter day. even only for my eyes.
but pensieve is not exists.
a proper hug from you will heal, then.
but you are so far away.
Yang membuatmu berbeda adalah, kamu sudah menjadi seseorang yang aku suka tanpa aku harus menyampaikan mauku. Aku ga minta kamu untuk suka baca, suka nonton, suka dengerin musik yang aku suka, main musik, olah raga. Semuanya wajar. Apa adanya. Bukan dibuat-buat. Karena kamu adalah kamu. Dan kamu tidak pernah berlebihan. Kita bisa bicara tentang apa saja. Tentang kita. Tentang mimpi kita. Tentang masa depan. Tentang kejadian dan suasana sekitar. Tentang hal-hal bodoh dan teori-teori buatan kita sendiri. Tentang hal-hal baru (untukku). Wawasanmu ga perlu dipertanyakan. Ketepatan perkiraanmu ga perlu diragukan. Denganmu, aku ga butuh apa-apa lagi.
Memang ga perlu alasan untuk semua ini. Adanya alasan justru menghilangkan rasa ketika alasan itu hilang.
Sunyi yang seperti ini menyesakkan.
Normal life is so expensive that I have to pay hard.